Growing up. Sneaks up on you doesn't it?
I used to be able to go and get laid every weekend without giving it a second thought. It's easy for girls isn't it...if you want some, you can get some. And don't get me wrong - I'm not 'past it'. I can still go out and get some with great ease. But that's the problem - it's got too easy.
In the past month I have been on 3 dates and had 4 guys in my bed and, although given the opportunity, I couldn't fuck any of them. I just couldn't. And I'm not entirely sure why. As I said before...it's been second nature in the past. In order to get over people I get under others. But I think I have grown up. And I don't like it!
On the flip side, I used to convince myself that I wasn't going to have random sex anymore, that it had to mean something. But inevitably I would always get horny and one thing would lead to another and...well, you know the rest. But now I want to get down and dirty but my head is stopping me. Now it really does have to mean something.
I guess it shows my growing maturity - that I now want more from men than just sex. I want someone who wants my body to cuddle, as well as shag. I want someone who (sometimes at least) makes love gently. And I want someone I can talk to after they have made me scream.
Growing up. Sneaks up on you doesn't it?
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I have some reading to do! Love the Lily Allen reference. I never had a real "one night stand" period to compare, but this relationship stuff is pretty good. All the extra stuff and good sex is a pretty good package.
ReplyDeleteLilly Allen reference? Unintentional...what bit is that?
ReplyDeleteYes, you guys are hope to me that it can all work out.
But then Brad and Jen split up so who knows anymore.
You guys, and my parents. If anything happens to either of you then I'm becoming a Nun...
the"made me scream" so maybe its just an english reference...
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